I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
All I want is dick and wine.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
