Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
this boner is exhausting
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
