I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
