Your dad touched me again.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
