i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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