Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We are all done wearing pants today
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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