I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
