A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
