Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
