Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
