you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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