did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
