I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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