i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
