Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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