Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
