Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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