her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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