You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
