So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
