I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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