Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Let's paint friendship bongs
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
