Do vagina's smell?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
