If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I have so many feelings about this burrito
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
