I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
