Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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