you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
is it fun? or sober?
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