We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
