I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
