He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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