so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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