Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
