C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
a search helicopter?!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
