Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
