I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
