Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I love you. Go after that dick
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
