At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
