3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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