well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
