Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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