I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
