at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
