i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
