so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
