if i can run in heels then i can drive
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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