just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
