After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
