i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
