Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
