I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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